A Hermit at Heart?
photo credit: wildxplorer via
In my younger, early married years, I remember getting that restless feeling when we’d been staring at our own four walls for too many days in a row. It happened a lot, for we were in school and studying and had no money for an active social life. We had friends over on occasion, or went to visit friends, but as most of our friends were also juggling school and family, it didn’t happen as often as I wanted.
Then there were the baby/toddler/preschool years where I thought I’d climb the walls if I couldn’t talk to another adult. So I found ways to do that. A lot. (Thank you, Robin!) But that alone feeling still got the best of me sometimes in spite of our connections with friends, family, and our faith community.
But somewhere along the road, I changed. Suddenly I have no fear of not leaving the house or talking with a real person. I’m perfectly content to crawl into my little shell and stay there. Maybe some of it is that I’ve settled into peace with myself. I no longer find disquiet from within when I am alone. Or perhaps it is the new world of social media and texting, where I know I can interact with people any time I want, day or night, without ever having to leave home or interrupt what another person is doing. Or maybe I’m just a hermit at heart, content with books, movies, and my own imagination. With talking out loud to God, singing at the top of my lungs or dancing through empty rooms.
Thankfully, I have friends who force me out of my growing comfort zone. And it seems the Lord is quite content to prod me from my cozy nest lately as well. But oh, how I look forward to the “at home” days and nights now, cherishing as a gift what I once viewed as torture. And isn’t that the way of all life? What we don’t want, we get, but when we come to want it, it slips through our fingers and disappears.
Is there something in your life that you used to hate (like my “at home” time) that now you wish you had–or had more of?