I’ve never had trouble starting a new project before, but this time it’s different. I’m not sure why it’s different. It just is.
I have an idea. I have some characters. I even have a bit of research done and a couple of fun opportunities for research in the next few weeks. But I can’t seem to write that first word because I can’t seem to get a good picture of things in my mind.
Is fear holding me back? Fear that this one won’t be as good as the last? Fear that I’ll spend all that time and energy only to have another book to put on the virtual shelf? Maybe it’s the anticipation that the year of writing will be my son’s senior year of high school. My second child, my oldest boy. One I will miss terribly.
Maybe it is simply a lack of faith on my part. A worry that I’m wasting precious time. A look at the waves lapping my feet instead of walking with my eyes fixed on Jesus. All I know is that I’ve been floundering for about a month now, and it has to stop. I have to move forward or lay it down. That soggy middle ground simply won’t hold my weight much longer.